What kind of a fool am I?

Regine Velasquez in one of her concerts singing the original song of Samie Davis

I often wonder how can people say that they have loved deeply. Is it because of the sacrifices they made for the other person? Is it because they can’t see themselves with any other? Or is it because they think that the other person is their better half that makes them whole?

Personally, a person is whole on her or his own. You don’t need another person to complete you. You have to be complete on your own before you can share your life with someone. Does that make me not know love? Why can I not see it as others do? Is that why I have failed relationships one after another? I had an interesting conversation with a friend, he said “you have to know what you want before you can say you found someone that you can share your life with”. Not his exact words but that was the gist of it. Love is just so confusing for me. Sometimes I feel that I love someone but it is easy for me to just walk away. Does that mean I didn’t love him? That is the reason why I think this song speaks to me in so many levels. I feel like I am not capable of such love, the kind of love that my parents had or the one that my siblings have found. I love my family, I love my friends. I care for people in general. But love, that is something I guess I have to learn.

I hope and pray one day the song of my life would change. That it doesn’t speak of emptiness and is not vague. That I can truly say that I know how to love.